athela blog

This post does contain spoilers. Avatar is meant to be THE film to watch.  Unfortunately I didn’t enjoy it as much as I had hoped.  Here’s why:

The Colonel

1) Could Colonel Miles Quaritch look any more like Major Chip Hazard? This alone annoys the hell out of me- couldn’t they think of any other look for him?

2) In the scene near the end with the big battle, The Colonel sacrifices his men and his ship to attempt to chase after his vendetta with Jake Sully. Ugh! Seriously, does this kind of Good vs. Evil thing have to be everywhere? Why is there always a boss battle between the lead character and his arch nemesis?

Jake Sully is King Dufus Of The Dufai

3) Jake is a dufus.  When he first meets the king of the tribe, Click-Tuck Toon or whatever his name is, Jake is all like “He’s your father? [Reaches out his hand] Nice to meet you sir…” What a tool.  You are surrounded by a tribe of what seem at this moment to be showing complete inane aggression toward you for encroaching on their land and you go and be a dufus and all like, “Nice to meet you sir…” UGH!

4) When he first gets in to his avatar and has a working body he can’t wait to get up, dismissing all warnings from medical staff.  This is so unrealistic (excuse me for pretending that this is meant to be realistic) but how the flizzle did he just get up and run around after entering a new body? And why wasn’t he punished for this show of disobedience? I hate it that he’s been given this awesome opportunity and he goes like a child and disregards everyone’s concerns for his safety. Dufus.

5) It’s the story of a man who was just in the right place at the right time.  In this case it was the fact that he had the same DNA as his twin brother who had been training for this job for three years.  His brother having died tragically left behind an Avatar that only someone of the same DNA could use.  What kind of training do you think his brother had to endure, how clever and intelligent he must have been- Only to be replaced by his ‘warrior’  brother who has never used an Animus (That’s what I’m calling it as it’s practically identical to that of the Assassin’s Creed games), nor learned anything about Na’Vi culture or whatnot.  Also when Naytiri tells Jakesully about the fact that only 5 people have ridden that epic dragon since the first songs were sung, Jake’s all like “Wow that’s a long time”.  Exactly how long is that Jake? Do you know? Was that part of your research? Oh wait no, you didn’t do any research.

6) “I don’t know how to open it, so I’ll just barge right through this door that looks like it could be double reinforced”. [When he first gets inside his avatar].

Husky-Voiced Chick Who Plays She Same Kind Of Character In Every Movie She’s In

7) This time she’s a greasemonkey pilot called Trudy. How original, ooo!

Continuity

8) During the scene where the army blow up the old stupid tree house, the Na’Vi pelt the ships with arrows to obviously no effect.  They just bounce off.  This part is heavily dramatised and is a big part of the scene that shows to the viewer that the Na’Vi have puny weapons against the humans and are gonna be completely owned.  Soon thereafter we see the big battle where their arrows are now all of a sudden armour piercing!  They not only crash through the bullet proof glass of the ships but still have enough energy to kill the crew members!  What’s up with that?

Unbelievables

9) The whole story of those stupid dragons.  Jakesully having spent only a mere number of months with legs and a functional body tames the uber dragon. What. So no one had thought about an attack from above before? It doesn’t take a genius (Jake isn’t one, he’s a dufus) to see that the safest way to board it is from above.  What happened to his own little dragon?  He was sweet and everything! Even came back to him about 30 seconds after he woke up from the tree house disaster even amongst the dense ash-filled smoke!

10) The humans lost and we’re meant to be happy about that.  Hundreds possibly thousands of trained men and women (supposedly from the US) died and with each ship going down the audience feels happy?  What is this?  I’m no Na’Vi, I’m not happy about humans dying!  Sure yeah as always, humans are the greedy race… Just after that Ultra-Rare-ium that’s supposed to be worth lots… pfft, nice way of presenting the human race eh?